The 7 Levels of Availability: Your Guide to Understanding Who Gets Access to Your Heart
After years of coaching women through love addiction, writing my new book “How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts”, and honestly, learning these lessons the hard way myself, I've created the Availability Scale. This isn't just another relationship guide; it's a practical tool that helps you understand exactly where your connections stand, whether they're romantic interests, friendships, or family ties. Think of it as your relationship GPS - helping you navigate who gets access to your heart and how much of it they deserve.
Understanding the Scale
The Availability Scale ranges from BLP (Best Friend, Lover, Partner) Availability at the top with 200 points to Critically Dangerous Availability at the bottom with negative 1,000 points. Each level is determined by a point system where positive qualities are worth 10 points each, while negative qualities deduct 50 points. This weighted system exists because I need you to understand that negative qualities can't simply be balanced out by positive ones - they're five times more impactful on your wellbeing.
The Power of BLP Availability
Best Friend, Lover, Partner (BLP) availability represents the highest level of connection, where someone meets all markers of availability and genuinely cares about your experience. However, it's crucial to understand that even at this level, relationships still require effort. The difference is that when conflicts arise, both parties have the emotional maturity and skill sets to work through challenges together, leading to growth rather than destruction.
The Middle Ground
Between BLP and the dangerous levels lie categories like Good Friend Availability (150-199 points) and Associate Availability. These relationships might not reach the depths of BLP connections, but they serve valuable purposes in our lives. It's important to recognize that not every relationship needs to be or should be at the BLP level - sometimes a good friend or casual acquaintance is exactly what that relationship is meant to be.
The Danger Zones
When we get into Stranger Danger, Extremely Dangerous, and Critically Dangerous availability levels, we're dealing with relationships that can actively harm your wellbeing. These connections often involve breadcrumbing, masking, and various forms of manipulation - even if they're not always malicious in intent. Understanding these levels helps you recognize when someone's actions consistently disappoint or harm you, even if there are occasional moments of kindness.
If you're tired of giving your heart to people who aren't ready to handle it, if you're done with questioning whether you're asking for too much, or if you're ready to break free from toxic patterns once and for all - I wrote this book for you.
In "How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts," I break down each level of availability with practical examples, worksheets, and tools to help you evaluate every relationship in your life. You'll learn not just how to spot unavailability, but also how to build intimacy with those who are genuinely available for connection.
This isn't just about avoiding toxic relationships; it's about learning to choose and nurture healthy ones. Ready to start your journey? Grab your copy here today, and let's transform how you experience love - in all its forms. Because you deserve relationships that match your level of availability, and this guide will show you exactly how to find them.