The Love Avoidant's Guide to Better Relationships

In this blog post, we're diving into the intricacies of love avoidance, a common intimacy disorder that many of us struggle with silently. Love avoidance is our brain's way of protecting us from potential emotional harm by creating distance in our relationships. This coping mechanism often stems from childhood trauma and manifests as a fear of being seen, judged, or rejected. When we push people away, it becomes challenging to build deep, intimate connections. Let's break down how love avoidance operates and ways to overcome it.


Navigating Love Addiction and Avoidance


In navigating the path of love addiction and avoidance, it's important to recognize that these patterns are just different sides of the same coin. Love addicts tend to cling to unavailable partners, masking their fears of abandonment, while love avoidants maintain distance to avoid vulnerability. 


For those of you who've been working on recovery from love addiction or avoidance, the journey involves addressing underlying traumas and learning new ways of relating to others. It's all about discovering self-awareness and embracing healthier relationship patterns. Healing is a continuous process, and it's okay to take it one step at a time.


Practical Tips for Love Avoidants


For those of us who identify more with love avoidance, practical steps can help us build healthier relationships. 


Start by sharing snippets of your day with your partner and initiating conversations about your thoughts and feelings. It's also important to show kindness, give compliments, and initiate soft moments without waiting for the other person to do so. Vulnerability plays a key role too—allow your partner to see your goofy, imperfect side. 


Remember, the right person will appreciate these moments and see them as endearing, strengthening your bond.


Ways to Share Your Life as a Recovering Love Avoidant


As a recovering love avoidant, one of the most impactful ways to nurture your relationships is by sharing your life more openly. 


Start by initiating small but meaningful interactions, like taking pictures of your day and sending them to your partner or sharing a thought you had about them. Make an effort to be spontaneous and engage in unrehearsed communication, allowing yourself to be more present and less guarded. 


Lean into moments of intimacy and acknowledge your emotions openly, expressing your feelings without holding back. These seemingly small actions can significantly deepen your connection and help dismantle the walls you've built around your heart.


As you navigate relationships as a love avoidant, always practice self-kindness and grace. Celebrate the progress you've made and give yourself credit for the courage it takes to move closer to others. Relationships are about mutual effort, vulnerability, and joy, and by embracing these elements, you can create beautiful, enriching connections. Consider the possibility that your new way of being in relationships can lead to fulfilling and profound love experiences. 

Shena Lashey