Episode 285: 3 Mistakes Love Avoidants Make in Dating

Is your fear of intimacy keeping you from the love you want?

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we’re diving deep into love avoidance—what it is, how it shows up, and the mistakes that keep us from building healthy, connected relationships. If you find yourself pulling away when things get too good, struggling to be vulnerable, or avoiding dating altogether, you’re not alone. These patterns often come from past trauma and a desire to protect ourselves, but they can also block the very intimacy we’re craving.

Whether you’re just starting to explore this part of your healing or you’ve been working on it for a while, this episode offers real talk and real tools to support your journey.

In this episode, we cover…

02:43 The most common mistakes love avoidants make in relationships
05:35 How trauma creates defense mechanisms that block intimacy
14:59 Mistake #1: Getting spooked when things are going well
23:20 Mistake #2: Struggling to be emotionally vulnerable
30:07 Mistake #3: Avoiding dating altogether
36:25 Final reflections and steps to move forward

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Episode 284: 3 Dating Mistakes to Avoid As A Love Addict: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/284-dating-mistakes
How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.