The 4 Steps of No Contact
We've all been there. You finally decide to walk away from a toxic relationship, swearing you're done for good. But then, a familiar name pops up on your phone, and suddenly you're sucked back in. It's a frustrating cycle, and one that keeps us stuck in patterns that don't serve us.
The truth is, most setbacks in healing from toxic relationships happen because we maintain connections with the very people who are dragging us down. But what if there was a way to make a clean break, a way to truly disconnect and reclaim your power?
In this blog post, I'll share the key steps to making no contact work for you. We'll explore what no-contact actually is (most people got it all wrong and that’s why it doesn’t work for them), reasons why I encourage you to start your 90-day break, the four steps to no-contact, and what it looks like to cut off all contact.
What is No Contact?
No Contact involves completely severing communication with someone who has been a source of emotional trauma and triggers. It's not just about blocking their number or avoiding them on social media; it's a full detox. I often describe no-contact as more of a healing detox for your body and mind. You're making a conscious decision to prioritize your well-being over maintaining a dysfunctional relationship.
Why You Should Take a 90-Day Break
I advocate for a 90-day period of no-contact because it allows your nervous system to reset. When you're constantly triggered by someone, it becomes difficult to differentiate your emotions from theirs.
The 90-day break helps in regaining clarity, finding balance, and understanding what you genuinely want versus what your fears and anxieties tell you. It's a buffer period to recalibrate your emotional state, allowing you to come back stronger and more self-aware.
Four Steps to No Contact
The first step is setting your intention for going no-contact—doing it for yourself, not for the other person. The second is cutting off all contact, which means blocking them and resisting the urge to check their social media. The third step involves cutting out the fantasy where you replay old memories and situations. Finally, face the feelings that show up. Whether it's anger, sadness, or longing, confront these emotions instead of suppressing them.
What It Looks Like to Cut Off All Contact
When I say cut off all contact, I mean every bit of it. This includes not only blocking their phone number and social media accounts but also avoiding places they might frequent. It extends to mutual friends' social media and any online stalking you might be tempted to do. Cutting off contact also means not replaying and romanticizing old memories. It's about living in the present and focusing on your emotional recovery.
In conclusion, No Contact is a powerful tool for anyone dealing with the fallout from a toxic relationship. By taking a 90-day break and following the four steps, you give yourself the best chance to heal and move forward. Remember, this is not about the other person; it's about reclaiming your peace and well-being. You've got this, and I'm cheering you on every step of the way!
If you need extra care and support on the next 90 days, I invite you to join my latest membership, the No Contact Support Group. This membership is perfect for any woman who is tired of trying to detox from addictive relationships using her own knowledge and wants a process that works. You can check it out here.