Withdrawal
About Withdrawal
Withdrawal is the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual process that happens when one is detoxing from addictive relationships and families. This process happens due to the connection between one’s addictive relationships and already existing childhood trauma that this relationships grew connections too.
Similar to how many drugs effect feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine, love addiction can also impact the brain’s chemistry.
“Levels of phenylethylamine (PEA) — a chemical in the brain involved in the euphoria that comes with falling in love — rise with feelings of infatuation, boosting euphoria and excitement. ”
Love addicts may become dependent upon the psychological and physical arousal triggered by PEA and other brain chemicals. While romance can be a natural and healthy part of relationships, the love addict pursues romance and the “high” of new love without ever developing genuine intimacy and connection
Because of this, those leaving addictive relationships and behavior patterns may experience the same level of symptoms and pain as one withdrawing from drugs, alcohol and gambling.
Some of the withdrawal symptoms sex and love addicts can experience are:
emotional disturbance SYMPTOMS:
Many times, the pain of withdrawal is so unexpected and overwhelming, it may push the addict to return to their partner.
Anxiety
Irritability
Agitation
Anger
Grief
Sadness
Depression
Restlessness
Boredom
Despair
Sleeplessness
Loss of interest in life
Fatigue
Hypersensitivity
Feelings of numbness
Physical Symptoms:
Vomiting
Sweating
Chills
Heart palpitations
Tremors and shaking
Constipation
Confusion and inability to concentrate
Feelings of numbness
Aches and pains
GETTING THROUGH WITHDRAWAL
The bad news is that the only way to get through withdrawal is to actually go through it. Finding a substitute such as over-shopping, drug use, overworking, etc though it may look functional in some circles, only perpetuates the addiction.
The purpose of your addiction(s) have been to numb you, protect you to keep you from feeling vulnerable.
Feeling these uncomfortable emotions that come up in withdrawal is the only way to move to the other side. There you will see that the more practice you have experiencing vulnerability and all of the pain your addiction(s) have been trying the make, the more able you are to tolerate and thrive in them. For example, staying mindful while feeling an emotion such as sadness allows you to come through the experience knowing that no matter how sad you become, you will always come out the other side.
Remember that from moment to moment, they can change from one extreme to another. They can also arrive seemingly out of nowhere, so just when you think you’re doing fine, a strange bout of irritability or sleeplessness may crop up. Understanding that this is part of the process and remaining open to feeling compassion for yourself are important steps.
You can recover; healing is possible.
Love addicts profoundly grieve their lost “relationship”. The intense feeling of rejection by their partner, abandonment and neglect send the message reinforcing what the love addict already believed inside, that they were not worth being with.