Codependency
About Codependency
Codependency is the reliance on a person, process (i.e. shopping, gambling, sex, etc), or substance by making it more important than your relationship with yourself. Over time, the one’s thoughts, actions, and feelings revolve around the object of their codependence and there is an abandonment of self. While some spirituality practices encourage generosity of spirit and thinking of others before yourself, codependence becomes problematic as there is a loss of appropriate boundaries and it impacts functioning and emotional/mental health.
Characteristics of codependency include:
People pleasing
Perfectionism / fear of Failure
Sensitivity to criticism
Denial of personal problems
Excessive focus on the needs of others
Failure to meet personal needs
Discomfort receiving attention or help from others
Feelings of guilt or responsibility for the suffering of others
Reluctance to share true thoughts or feelings for fear of displeasing others
Low self esteem
Internalized shame and helplessness
Projection of competence and self reliance
A need to control others
Self worth based on care-taking
Feeling undeserving of happiness
Caring for and enabling someone who abuses drugs or alcohol
According to an article from Psychcentral.com, recovery from codependency will develop the following characteristics in one’s self:
Authenticity
Autonomy
Capability of being intimate
Integrated and congruent values, thoughts, feelings and actions
