Episode 248: Getting Out of the Negative in Relationships

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In this episode, I discuss the importance of moving from negative relationship patterns to positive, healed, and love-filled connections. I also talk about the common pitfalls of remaining in negative relational spaces, the impacts of childhood emotional neglect, and the signs of low self-worth.

You’ll get to know what it means to reach a baseline in emotional health and relationships and, ultimately, how to grow towards a healed and loved woman status. Listen to get actionable advice on stepping away from unhealthy relationships, identifying roadblocks, and embracing one's personal needs.

In this episode, we cover…

06:45 Why you operate in a deficit in relationships
12:19 How childhood emotional neglect affects you and your relationships
16:54 What it looks like to be in a relationship with a dominant and passive partner
18:44 The risk that happens when you still don't get to the baseline of relationships
22:12 Why you still struggle with low self-worth (even if you don't think that you are)
25:50 Why you need to make yourself available for happiness
31:13 The healed and loved woman standard for relationships
32:40 What it looks like to be in the negative baseline in relationships
33:44 What the baseline standard is for relationships
40:06 Why you're encouraged to do healing work in a community
41:09 Shena's personal story of healing in a community
41:57 Why you need to share your story
42:48 No contact as a healing agent

Why you operate in a deficit in relationships

One of the primary reasons for operating in a deficit in relationships is the emotional trauma we carry from our childhood. When our emotional needs are not met during our childhood, we often develop maladaptive coping mechanisms. These mechanisms can manifest as a deep-seated fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting others, or an overwhelming need for validation. Understanding these connections between our past and present is crucial for breaking the cycle of negative relationship patterns.

What it looks like to be in a negative baseline in relationships

Being in the negative baseline in relationships often looks like constant self-doubt, seeking validation from partners, and feeling unworthy of love. It's a space where past hurts cloud our judgment and hinder our ability to form healthy connections.

However, there is a baseline standard for relationships that everyone deserves. This standard includes mutual respect, open communication, trust, and emotional support. To reach this standard, it's essential to address and heal from past traumas.

The standard for a healed and loved woman

The standard for a healed and loved woman in relationships is vastly different. This woman has done the hard work of healing her wounds and recognizes her worth. She sets boundaries, communicates her needs effectively, and does not settle for less than she deserves. Her relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine connection. It's a transformative journey that requires dedication and support, but the rewards are so worth it.

Why you’re encouraged to heal in a community setting

Healing work in a community offers a powerful way to move forward. Engaging with other women who are on similar journeys provides a support system that is both empowering and motivating. It allows for shared experiences, accountability, and the opportunity to learn from one another.

Understanding and addressing why we operate in a deficit in relationships is the first step towards healing. By recognizing the impact of childhood emotional neglect and striving to meet the standard of a healed and loved woman, we can transform our relationship patterns. Embracing a community of healing ensures that we do not walk this path alone, and together, we can create relationships that are healthy, fulfilling, and rooted in love.

Don’t forget to register for The Recovery School Open House on Tuesday, June 18th at 6:30 PM CST to learn more about how you can start your journey to healing today!

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join the FREE Recovery School Open House on Tuesday, June 18th at 6:30 PM CST. Register here.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Listen to Episode 239: Secret Narcissistic Lovebombing Techniques that You Need to Know
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